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    You are at:Home » What to say when someone is depressed
    mental health

    What to say when someone is depressed

    Sabeeka LambeBy Sabeeka LambeMay 30, 2020Updated:April 10, 202112 Comments5 Mins Read
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    Did you know??

    • 5% of the total population in India suffer from depression, as of 2015
    • 5% of corporate employees in India suffer from depression
    • The government estimates that 1 in 5 people in the country need counseling, either psychological or psychiatric

    With such alarming statistics and the rampant rise in depression, there is a good chance that you would know or come across people in your circle suffering from it.

    Depression is a silent attacker. And often, unless someone comes to you to discuss how they are feeling, it is not very easy to guess their mental state. Also, when discussing feelings and emotions, often we feel awkward and are unsure if we are saying the right thing or not. There is always a risk and doubt of crossing the boundary between being concerned and getting nosey.

    But, we must understand that there really are no wrong things you can say if they come from the heart and with compassion and acceptance. Even if we risk saying the “wrong” thing—it’s always better to say something than to remain silent and say nothing at all. Since with clinical depression, the condition worsens if the person suffering is left lonely and in the worse cases can even lead to suicide.

    So, here are a few pointers that will give you a better idea of what might be helpful for your friend, colleague or an acquaintance to hear.

    I care

    These 2 simple words mean a lot to someone who feels that there is no hope and is drowning in their web of thoughts and feelings. While you don’t have to explicitly use these words, simple actions like holding their hand, a hug or even a gentle touch can convey the message that you care and that your friend is an important part of your life.

    I am here for you

    Show them that you are available to them whenever they need someone to talk to or when they are feeling lost or hopeless. Be around them and reach out even if they seem to try pushing you away. Often people suffering from depression are afraid of becoming a burden to their loved ones and thus push them away with their actions or words.

    Spend time with them on holidays, plan chores like grocery shopping, getting your vehicles serviced or any other common activities together. Also, plan fun activities together like visiting the salon or going out to watch a movie. These actions make them feel loved and they know they can depend on you and talk to you whenever they need to.

    I am here if you need to talk, I understand

    Talk to them about your experiences if you have faced and fought clinical depression or you know of someone close to you who you have seen fight it. Talk to them about situations when you felt helpless or felt too much pressure. You, talking about your experiences will help them open up to you as well.

    It is ok to feel this way

    Often, while talking to someone who is depressed, we get the urge to present them with solutions to the problems they are facing. Especially if we have not faced depression ourselves. So, it is very important to resist this problem-solving urge. We must understand that the biochemical imbalances associated with depression is what is making him feel helpless and not the actual situations. During this time what he needs the most is to know that you are there for him and not quick fixes. So, assure him that it is ok to feel this way, and direct them towards getting professional help.

    There is hope

    Those who are depressed often feel weak and like there is nothing that can be done. You need to explain to them that this is very much treatable. If you have gone through it or know of someone then talk to them about it. Urge them to visit a professional for counseling, If need be accompany them too since talking this first step towards treatments is something that many people suffering from depression find very difficult

    Your life makes a difference to me

    A common feeling among those who are depressed is that their lives don’t matter and that no one would even care if they were gone. So, show him how he matters to you and to others around him. This can help him realize his value and worth as a person. Since realizing this is what is going to prevent him from drastic steps like suicide.

    You must understand and accept that it is possible that you can say all the “right” things and your friend will still get upset with you, won’t listen to your advice and even push you away. Sometimes people lash out at those trying to help them because they are hurting, and they just don’t know where to direct those bad feelings and whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. If this happens with your friend, don’t take it personally. Stay calm and continue to do what you can to love and support him in whatever way he will allow.

    This post is published for #OpenNTalk Blogger’s League hosted by @GleefulBlogger and @WigglingPen in association with Summerbarn, Vedantika Herbals, Nyassa, Explore Kids World.

    Source: http://yourdost.com/blog/2017/03/depression-statistics-in-india.html?q=/blog/2017/03/depression-statistics-in-india.html&, https://www.verywellmind.com/

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    Sabeeka Lambe
    Sabeeka Lambe
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    I have been working in the software technology services space for over 15 years. In my professional life I help in implementing quality standards like ISO, CMMi & Six Sigma to make developers and testers jobs easier & process oriented. Through this blog I am sharing similar techniques coupled with age old wisdom from my mom and grand mom to make our living healthier and medicine free. To work in any new field, it helps if you read and train too, and I did the same. Have got a diploma in Naturopathy from Mumbai to enhance my knowledge and skills on this topic that I am passionate about

    View 12 Comments

    12 Comments

    1. Avatar
      Aditi Kapur on July 1, 2018 1:24 am

      Agree, Depression is a silent killer.
      #CrossBorderSisters #OpenNTalk

      Reply
    2. Avatar
      Mayuri Nidigallu on July 1, 2018 11:03 am

      I am so glad you wrote this, Sabeeka. These are things that anyone going through depression would be glad to hear.
      #OpenNTalk #JAMSS2018

      Reply
    3. Avatar
      Bhawna Shah on July 1, 2018 12:36 pm

      Depression needs lots of care and there should be someone who can boost up the morale of the depressed person. #CrossBorderSisters #OpenNtalk

      Reply
    4. Avatar
      Anagha Yatin on July 1, 2018 1:33 pm

      Its ok to be not Ok! Depression is not he fight by the person suffering but also by those who are near and close with the patient. These simple rules will help in a subtle way.
      #AYReads #CrossBorderSisters #OpenNTalk

      Reply
    5. Avatar
      Yogeeta on July 1, 2018 5:05 pm

      A hug is all one needs during this moment 🙂
      Well written Post! Loved the way you chose to write on such a serious topic.
      #InvincibleGang

      Reply
    6. Avatar
      Deepa on July 2, 2018 3:09 am

      Depression is something which needs support and understanding more than anything. Glad you wrote about it. #Openntalk #Bloggingdivas

      Reply
    7. Avatar
      Sayeri on July 2, 2018 5:56 am

      Most of the time, we don’t even realize that we are in depression. Few people dont even know about it. Our daily stress, hectic life may be the reason of this. Sometimes I also feel lonely, down with so many questions about life. But then again I boost up myself, I encourage myself to live better. I listen inspirational audios. Hope youre post will make the people more aware about depression. People become more sensitive about this and handle it carefully. #Bloggerbabes #OpenNTalk

      Reply
    8. Avatar
      Varsha Bagadia on July 2, 2018 4:03 pm

      These lines should be used often, and not just with people who are depressed. Showing love and care through such words can work wonders for anyone’s confidence and mood.
      #OpenNTalk #BloggerBabes

      Reply
    9. Avatar
      Abhijit on September 28, 2018 4:53 am

      With so many prominent people declaring that they are suffering from depression, this disease has gotten some attention. Most of the time we do not know we are depressed. Before declaring or understanding that one is depressed, we must know what is normal state. Most of us do not have any standard definition of normal. That is why unless a person goes into a clinically depressed state, we do not bother and do not go to a physician for a solution.

      Reply
    10. Avatar
      Priya Bajpai on September 28, 2018 8:20 am

      Being compassionate is important. it’s important to let them know that you are there for them, always.

      Reply
    11. Avatar
      Vandana Mathur on September 28, 2018 5:23 pm

      Depression has become very common these days. It is therefore important to know how we can help depressed people. Talking to them and making them feel important helps them a lot. Thanks for writing on such an important topic.

      Reply
    12. Avatar
      Harjeet Kaur on September 28, 2018 6:45 pm

      I wish people in India knew what to say to a depressed person. Everyone just dumps me like a hot potato when I am going through a depressive episode. But I am there for anyone who needs me. #wordsmithkaurreads

      Reply

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