Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Moms Methods
    • Health care
      1. general health
      2. Child care
      3. Therapies
      4. Home Remedies
      5. mental health
      Featured
      April 5, 20186

      How to Help Your Child Improve Emotional Intelligence

      By Isabel F. WilliamApril 5, 2018
      Recent
      April 18, 2021

      Benefits of Ajwain – A herb available in every kitchen

      June 28, 2020

      Empathy & Compassion: Did we really need a pandemic to teach us?

      May 30, 2020

      What to say when someone is depressed

    • Lifestyle
      • Personal care
      • Exercise
      • Parenting
      • Recipes
    • People
      1. Guest posts
      2. Conversations
      3. Organizations
      Featured
      April 5, 20186

      How to Help Your Child Improve Emotional Intelligence

      By Isabel F. WilliamApril 5, 2018
      Recent
      May 26, 2020

      Mindful Setting of Your Home Office

      July 30, 2019

      Mrs. Latika – A true inspiration

      September 10, 2018

      How to Make that Baby Fat Go Away

    • Products
      1. Health
      2. Education
      3. Food
      4. Beauty
      Featured
      October 31, 201717

      Flintobox review

      By Sabeeka LambeOctober 31, 2017
      Recent
      December 14, 2018

      The new outlook on your baby’s development

      September 3, 2018

      How to test your wet wipes for purity

      July 15, 2018

      Make your water interesting with TE-A-ME iced brews

    Moms Methods
    You are at:Home » How to get closer to your teen kids in 10 easy steps
    Guest posts

    How to get closer to your teen kids in 10 easy steps

    Isabel F. WilliamBy Isabel F. WilliamSeptember 16, 2017Updated:October 8, 201728 Comments6 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Reddit WhatsApp Email

    Being a parent to a small child and being a parent to a teenager are two quite different things. Many parents find themselves confused and are unable to switch their roles. Eventually, everyone gets stressed about not understanding each other. As a parent and experienced adult, it’s your responsibility to know what changes your teen kids are going through, changes that make them act differently.

    It was all about snuggling and tenderness when they’re kids, and many parents are disturbed because of the cold shoulders they get from their teens. You shouldn’t let it fool you because they still want us to reach out to them, and need constant reminders that we, the parents, care. Having more freedom is vital to becoming independent, so our kids start doing things on their own, without wanting or needing their parents’ help. This change usually occurs in the teen years, and this is what you can do to stay close and give them the space they crave.

    Be a role model to them

    closer-to-kids-2

    “We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.”
    ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

    Since our early childhood days, we tend to imitate our parents on a subconscious level. While still a toddler, a child acts like this in order to stay close to their parents, who are their main source of security and protection. Once they reach a teenage age, they start doing all the opposite things from their parents because they want to set themselves apart in order to express their individuality.

    When they were just children, you laid the foundation for their behavior. Now, you continue to show them how to behave. You teach them the importance of coping with feelings, such as anxiety and frustration, understanding certain emotions, as well as including physical activity and healthy diet. During teen years, we develop our ability to understand other people’s feelings and experiences.

    Support them, guide them

    closer-to-kids-3

    “Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be.”
    ― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

    1. Let them go. It’s important to realize that once your teen starts distancing themselves, you should be aware that they are experiencing a major change in their development. Although it is not easy, don’t try to take it personally – they’ll come back when they need to and you should be there for them. Talk to your teen about what’s happening and let them know that you understand why they’re keeping distance.
    2. Respect their reputation. It’s important for your teens to look cool when they’re hanging out with their friends. This means that any displays or signs or affection can mess things up because they’re often rebuffed in front of your kid’s peers. Show affection when no one else is around.
    3. Praise them for doing something good. Teens usually lack in self-confidence – they’re either putting themselves down or their peers do it to them. So, as a parent, try to look for things your kids are doing right and show them how proud you are of them, instead of focusing only on their flaws. The praise you give them will help build their confidence and increase their feelings of competence.
    4. Be real. The truth is – mom and dad don’t always know best. If you make a mistake, admit it and apologize when and how you think it’s appropriate. Show that you’re just like them, not always completely sure that you are doing the right thing and that people are essentially always a “work in progress”. Show them you don’t expect perfection, but progress.
    5. Respect their boundaries. Teens increasingly want more autonomy and privacy, which is often a challenge for parents. They just need to learn from their mistakes in order to develop good judgment.
    6. Work together. Sometimes, it’s much more difficult to have a conversation with your teen when you are sitting and forced to make an eye contact. Instead, you can ask them to work with you and talk during the activity. Whether you’re just doing the dishes, shoveling snow, or raking leaves together, you can still communicate and talk freely about anything without any inhibitions.
    7. Relax like they do. Whatever your teen likes to watch on TV, sit on the couch next to them, and endure through an MTV show or an episode of Gossip Girl. Sharing a laugh while sitting shoulder-to-shoulder is a great bonding opportunity.
    8. Tell their stories. If you share the memories of sweet and infuriating things your kids did when they were younger, you will strengthen their sense of belonging and they will know they matter to you.
    9. Welcome their friends. Many things are a touchy subject for a one-on-one conversation with your teen, and you can do it more easily over lunch with your kid’s friends. If you invite their friends over, your kids will be home more often.
    10. When problems get too big. If the misunderstandings can’t be overcome and the problems in communication grow too big, it’s time to seek professional help from experienced psychologist – you can read some of the greatest psychologists and apply their advice, or you can consult some of the cool people who will always gladly talk to you, like ones in Better Help or in Heath Group Practice, for example. Whatever you choose, understand that it’s important to get help if your teen has behavioral problems that seriously disrupt your family life or constantly cause trouble in school.

    Encourage their independence

    closer-to-kids-1

    “I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway… let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.” ― C. JoyBell C.

    Overly-controlling parents who tend to limit their kids’ independence can leave negative consequences on their child’s physiological development, leaving them unable to control their own behavior. Parents should notice and keep track of the phases of their child’s growth and development in order to see how they change. Children who had a healthy upbringing and were able to form emotional bonds with their parents are more likely to have happier and secure relationships later in life.

    Adding this post #MyFriendAlexa Campaign by @blogchatter

    Share this:

    • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
    • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
    • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
    • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
    • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
    • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
    Previous ArticleSimple tips for backache relief
    Next Article Mamaearths’ traditional recipes herbal teas
    Isabel F. William
    Isabel F. William
    • Website
    • Facebook
    • Twitter

    Body & Mind Balance Consultant. Lover of literature and philosophy, runner, and Tai Chi master. She believes that sometimes it is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee to travel somewhere else.

    View 28 Comments

    28 Comments

    1. Avatar
      SoulMom on September 23, 2017 2:22 pm

      Very valid points and helpful takeaways here. A good reminder for me to praise my teens more often and also share their stories with them. Self-esteem is the key here, theirs and ours. Thanks for the inputs.

      Reply
    2. Avatar
      Sheethal Susan Jacob on September 23, 2017 4:30 pm

      That’s a good one. Children should be treated as individuals and given their freedom and space. Really good post for parents.

      Reply
    3. Avatar
      Iram on September 23, 2017 6:25 pm

      Let them go is something that I think we all should learn.
      Great pointers to deal with teenagers 👍

      Reply
    4. Avatar
      Obsessivemom on September 24, 2017 2:54 am

      That’s a valuable post. Once children hit their teens they need a whole different form of communication. They hate to be ‘babied’ and are conscious of their image in front go their friends. Loved your pointers.

      Reply
    5. Avatar
      Neha on September 24, 2017 11:12 am

      These are some great pointers. We need to respect teens as individuals with personal opinions or choices which might be different from us. Communication is the key.

      Reply
    6. Avatar
      Anchal on September 24, 2017 11:20 am

      These are such great tips. Communicating at a lot of levels is required.

      Reply
    7. Avatar
      Gayatri on September 24, 2017 5:33 pm

      The header had my attention, Isabel! Parenting a teenager is a different ball game than parenting a toddler or a pre-teen. Agree with the points you have raised in the post above esp. no. 10. Seek help when needed before it is too late. Thank you for this article!

      Reply
    8. Avatar
      Dr Bushra on September 25, 2017 8:29 am

      Appreciating kids for Thier work indeed built up their confidential level
      The tips are very workable to know your teen better Great read

      Reply
    9. Avatar
      Shamik on September 25, 2017 12:58 pm

      Nice and informative posts. Thank you for sharing the insights. Though I’m not a parent I think what you have mentioned makes complete sense. I would love to share this with my friends who are parents already.

      Reply
    10. Avatar
      Dipika on September 25, 2017 1:07 pm

      Beautiful list and I truly agree to all the points mentioned here

      Reply
    11. Avatar
      Tripti Charan on October 5, 2017 1:10 pm

      Wow! This is so informative, love your blog 🙂

      Reply
    12. Avatar
      Jiya B on October 5, 2017 1:20 pm

      The 10 steps you shared here are some real essential onces to get closer to the child in difficult teens. Thanks for sharing

      Reply
    13. Avatar
      Snehal on October 5, 2017 2:30 pm

      Some helpful and must follow tips for parents! 🙂

      Reply
    14. Avatar
      Rashmi on October 5, 2017 5:30 pm

      Really helpful insights for parents of teenagers.. i am a mom to a toddler and often wonder how kids start getting independent and want all the freedom..

      Reply
    15. Avatar
      Varsh on October 6, 2017 4:24 am

      Effective communication with teenage kids is a real problem. As parents we have to tread carefully and respect their opinion while making sure we don’t let them go astray. Good post.

      Reply
    16. Avatar
      jhilmil on October 6, 2017 5:34 am

      This is such an important topic, though my son is just 3yo, I often panic thinking of teenage years. It is so important for us, being mom and parent to be closer to our kids and know what all they do. Need to be more of a guide and friend to them. Lovely tips here.

      Reply
    17. Avatar
      Minakshi bajpai on October 6, 2017 5:47 am

      Very useful article and great advice for parents of teens. I agree that we should maintain a healthy relationship with our teen kids so that they can trust their parents in any way and never hide something from them. I am savings these points for future reference as now my kids are very small.

      Reply
    18. Avatar
      Deepika Verma on October 6, 2017 8:27 am

      It’s very important to be close to kids, parents should try and have a friendly relationship so that the kids are more open and can speak their heart out

      Reply
    19. Isabel
      Isabel on October 6, 2017 10:37 am

      Thank you all for your nice words, I am so grateful.

      I think that parenting should topic for all of us – parents, parents soon to be, and also for those without children – because we all have contacts with children in some point of our life, don’t we?

      I am so happy that I was able to share my point of view, and my thoughts with Sabeeka, and with you!

      And of yours I am always open for all yours suggestions.

      Reply
    20. Avatar
      Khushboo on October 6, 2017 10:53 am

      Very informative post.. It’s very important to be close to kid and have good friendly relation with them

      Reply
    21. Avatar
      Bushra Khan on October 6, 2017 12:08 pm

      such valid points explained so well. Still have time for my kids to be teens, but yes, these will be the very steps I will try to follow then

      Reply
    22. Avatar
      Deepali on October 6, 2017 1:05 pm

      Couldn’t agree more. I believe that communication is really important at this age.

      Reply
    23. Avatar
      Mrinal on October 6, 2017 2:43 pm

      This was really really good post.. so informative about teen behaviour and how parents should behave with them

      Reply
    24. Avatar
      Amrita on October 6, 2017 2:43 pm

      Important points I am bookmarking for later Now her age is 5 so cuddles are still working.

      Reply
    25. Avatar
      [email protected] on October 6, 2017 3:18 pm

      Such a thoughtful post. Teenage is difficult to handle but careful attention to needs of your kids especially their individuality and freedom works for everyone’s good

      Reply
    26. Avatar
      Hena on October 6, 2017 5:11 pm

      I feel Teenage is difficult both for parents and kids. Teenager expects independence and thats something as parents we are hesitant to give, thinking they might get spoiled. Very useful post. A must read for teenage parents

      Reply
    27. Avatar
      Papri Ganguly on October 6, 2017 5:38 pm

      This post is really helpful and informative for all parents specially these days when internet is ruling over their mind.

      Reply
    28. Avatar
      Glow Origin on October 7, 2017 5:32 am

      Very nice post. Love all the pointers indeed so true.. Every parent needs to read this

      Reply

    Leave A Reply Cancel Reply

    Subscribe to Momsmethods via e-mail

    About

    Moms Methods is written and curated by a mom of 2 little angels. In my job I work as a software quality manager for an IT services company. Applying Six Sigma, ITIL, ISO and CMMi processes to s/w development projects and services.

    Post our first child I had taken-up raising our kids as my primary job for a while. During this journey I used many natural methods of healing and rejuvenation. This site is an attempt to share these methods with as many people as possible.

    For publishing content, advertising and online campaigns contact us on momsmethods [@] gmail.com

    Visit BlogAdda.com to discover Indian blogs

    Invoicing software powered by Swipez Billing Software

    Popular Posts
    June 10, 2022

    Why women should make time for yoga

    April 18, 2021

    Benefits of Ajwain – A herb available in every kitchen

    June 28, 2020

    Empathy & Compassion: Did we really need a pandemic to teach us?

    May 30, 2020

    What to say when someone is depressed

    Social
    • View momsmethods’s profile on Facebook
    • View momsmethods’s profile on Twitter
    • View momsmethods’s profile on Instagram
    • View momsmethods’s profile on Pinterest
    • View sabeekalambe’s profile on LinkedIn
    • View momsmethods’s profile on YouTube
    • View momsmethods’s profile on Google+
    © 2023 Mom's Methods

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.